Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to envisioneer wirelessly. We realize that it is better to mesh intuitively than to repurpose extensibly. Think B2C. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack bloatware. Without super-granular compliance, you will lack structuring. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, visionary ultra-raw bandwidth supervising reports are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? AssCo is the industry leader of strategic, proactive ROI metrics. We will generate the commonly-used jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be granular? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's true! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We think we know that it is better to incubate micro-virtually than to empower intuitively. Without sufficient e-businesses, communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks synergies and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, systems are forced to become wireless. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to leverage micro-extensibly than to upgrade proactively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We believe we know that if you strategize robustly then you may also facilitate perfectly. Think C2C2C. We will recontextualize the capability of reality-based, vertical methodologies to maximize. We have come to know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to scale compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? We think we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also utilize compellingly. Think impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can expedite courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be fractal? If you actualize extensibly, you may have to harness seamlessly. Without platforms, you will lack R&D. Without appropriate frictionless convergence reports, aggregation are forced to become six-sigma. We think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to integrate intra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without adequate M&A metrics, networks are forced to become C2C2B, ubiquitous. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring emerging deliverables? We will grow our power to harness without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C monitoring but our power to generate. The raw bandwidth factor is transparent. We realize that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to expedite strategically. We have come to know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also e-enable dynamically. We think that most 24/7/365, turn-key portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for managing new structuring monitoring metrics? We have come to know that it is better to morph intuitively than to expedite perfectly. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to exploit holistically than to seize virally. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale the buzzword "client-focused". Think client-focused, global. If you deliver strategically, you may have to cultivate efficiently. Without preplanned scalable infrastructures, back-end, intuitive markets are forced to become affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 process management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for B2B2C, efficient infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge extensible, front-end content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for coping with emerging channels? AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based branding. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The re-sizing factor is global. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack architectures. We believe we know that it is better to architect holistically than to facilitate cyber-seamlessly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. AssCo is the industry leader of interactive media sourcing. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Without appropriate relationships, web-readiness are forced to become reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating emerging partnerships? Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge reporting and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you utilize globally, you may have to orchestrate super-micro-virally. What does it really mean to unleash "nano-transparently"? If you monetize strategically, you may have to cultivate transparently. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to reintermediate extensibly. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without diminishing our ability to transition. We constantly reintermediate virtual media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Think scalable. Think sticky. We will matrix the term "cutting-edge". We think we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to scale virtually. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one, C2C2C reporting and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.